Lastnight I learned the value of professional boudoir photography.

I have never had my photos taken by a professional. Well, that’s not entirely true. Back in 2009, a burgeoning pro-photographer offered to do a few headshots and bikini shots for me while I was living in Las Vegas. I was still in my 20’s back then. A long. Time. Ago.

I’ve always been a bit camera shy when it comes to serious and or sexy. I’ve never really been able to take those 2 categories… seriously. Any amateur attempt a friend would make at photographing me inevitably would end up with me making some goofy face or turning it into some sort of indie “nobody is gonna want to see these pics” project.

As women we are constantly concerned about our self-image, right?

Ok, I’ll be vulnerable here and say I AM always concerned about my self image. And it rules EVERYTHING!! I never really knew just how deeply this nasty little voice of mine infiltrated my whole life.

The nagging voice of negative self-image. I would wake up in the mornings, and some days I’m like, “damn I look good” others, I would be like, “who the hell is that? Aaaaagh!”

Did I change from day to day? That would be quite impressive, but no! It’s totally a head trip… Mental voices from the neocortex, fucking with you.

2 solutions: lobotomy OR… professional photos.

Why the photos? Well, the camera captures reality in a very different way than how we really see it. Based on geometry, lighting, contrast, and truly… mood. The camera doesn’t lie. If we are feeling shy or insecure, the camera will capture it.

Everything on our body gives us away, hands, lips, eyes. If we aren’t feeling it in our body, then we aren’t going to portray that to the camera’s intimidating eye.

Instead, a professional knows how to work with this. They deal with it all the time. They relax you by getting to know you and creating a safe space. As they are shooting, their positive feedback makes you feel good inside so you start to let a little playfulness come out. They prompt you into positions that are maybe a bit risqué and sexy; like touching yourself or biting a lip or even, laughing a big belly laugh… THIS is where the true sexy self comes out. Our brain chemicals start to shift and now we are feeling ourselves confidently. The photographers magical work morphs us from freaked out “OMG I look horrible on camera” to this goddess like seductress playing with the camera like it’s a hot new lover.

By the end of the session, you walk away feeling like you had some sort of love affair with your camera guy but no, it wasn’t a love affair with the camera guy. It was a love affair with YOURSELF.

By the end of it, you’re feeling completely in love with your body and its every movement and everything you thought was a flaw doesn’t even matter anymore because it just feels so good to be in your own skin and feel so damn sexy.

This morning, I was thinking about this process a bit deeper. This was my experience as a woman BUT… could it be similar to how ALL of us as people present ourselves to the whole of the outside world? Are we scared, nervous, uncertain, excited, spontaneous, bold… whatever… are we these things on the inside but hide them from the outside? Are we really presenting our TRUE selves? And if not, how is this fucking us up in our ENTIRE lives?

What is it going to take to be our true selves so we can enjoy every aspect of this short life we’ve got on this beautiful planet? Well, theses photos were a start for me.